Love is not easily angered

[Love] is not easily angered (1 Cor 13:5)

Bruce Banner's anger turned him into an
uncontrollable monster, the Hulk; but anger
doesn't make most of us a super hero.

'Easily angered' is another word describing what true agape love is not according to Paul in his letter to the Corinthian church. It means to be provoked or angered. The Greek word literally means 'alongside a sharp edge', to be 'jabbed' by someone with a sharp implement (HELP, 2011). It conveys being upset by someone when they do something that grinds on you so the sharp object is pushed up against you until you are frustrated. It could then be left at 'love does not get angry easily'; but instead of anger, frustrated/ stirred/ provoked/ irritated/ offended could be used. Some of us may feel a burning anger, and this might even come out where we loose control of ourselves and the anger could lead to dark thoughts, words we regret, or violence. Others of us might feel and express anger less than others, and perhaps there is another emotion that takes its place? 

For myself, there are not so frequently little things that people do that make me get angry with them easily so I loose control and end up being violent, shouting at them and causing a scene. Instead there are little things that people do, or certain things that people say that hit a nerve. Instead of shouting at them confrontationally, I tend to withdraw, sulk or feel bitter about it for ages until I decide to move past it, or talk about the little thing. There are times when I am not being truly loving because I am loving those people until they do those little things, my love is limited. My standards for them are too high because I'm being too grouchy, too sensitive, to easily offended. I get 'easily angered' when complete strangers do not say hello to me when I greet them (I currently work in a shop, so greeting strangers is not completely unnatural). Strangers rarely greet in central Oxford, but I feel offended if people do not say hello back. There is nothing wrong with them for just walking by, and a significant number do, but it can often make me wonder what the point in being friendly is.  When I think about it, taking offence and thinking someone is rude or ignorant because they ignore me is irrational. Taking offence at people not saying hello is worst when I feel tiered or weak in mood. Taking offence is also cumulative, and before long you only notice those who don't say 'hi' and grow steadily bitterer through the day. There is though no point in this, and it just makes me worse off. I have learnt that being offended easily is of no benefit. If I instead greet people with no expectation of a reply, and deciding to be loving irrespective of their reply (or lack there of) then I can be sincere, feel more motivated and happy in myself, and the day is better for everyone. I could be more honest and list a tonne of things that can offend me (as I am sure can you, I have a friend who gets REALLY upset if someone is sniffing for example), but I expect you have your own list, and things that are more meaningful than my examples.  I tell you, we all have the power to choose to accept people, though they do things we don't like, and in accepting them without taking offence we see just how beautiful they really are. Some of the most amazing customers are those I have expected to be a 'hand-full', and I could tell a few more stories of how people have surprised me, and I have been pleased to take down a wall of prejudice for the way I thought they'd be. People will inevitable do things that annoy us (even people we really love, and think are totally brilliant), but let's choose to give them grace, and let those little things go; to look past it, and love them instead of being 'easily angered'.

^{25 "}Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbour, for we are all members of one body.²⁶ “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry" (Ephesians 4:25-6)

¹⁹ My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, ²⁰ because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. ²¹ Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you. (James 1:19-21)  
God guide
xSx

p.s. I mentioned that I am most ungracious, and easily angered when I am tiered. I learned through last year's lent that I am much more content loving person when I get my 8 hours sleep. It's a simple thing to do, so I try and do it. If there are little tiny things you can do to improve life, go for it. 

Update:

Since starting this blog I became a Counsellor. You can read more on blog on subjects like Therapy at:

 www.simonslistening.co.uk