Ideas

I have joined up with Kiddlington church on placement this year and we have to fill in a section on our aims of being a part of this church. One of my particular passions is pastoral care and counselling. I have always enjoyed active listening, which is what encouraged me to join Samaritans last year, and really want to develop those skills to incorporate prayer and the Bible. I am not sure what context to do it in at the church, and may find out more tomorrow after speaking to their pastor. I did however have some ideas last night: personal pastors or a men's singles meeting. 


Personal pastors each care for one other person. It used to be done at OCC, but has become less popular with the move towards missional communities (http://oxford.occ.org.uk/our-missional-communities) which should be providing some level of pastoral care. I think missional communities are great, but also value the personal pastors of old. It was someone who would confidentially guide you, listen to your problems or confessions, offer any relevant advice and pray with you. I applied to be one, but I am not sure if they are still running. I would love to be one this year, if we can get them going again in Kiddlington.


There are many youth groups, there is a marriage course, student groups and parent's breakfasts in churches, but there is rarely anything for single males. Girls are pretty good at organising events exclusively for themselves, but us guys rarely seem to just for us. As such in our culture there is little community or  guidance on what it is to be a single guy; our responsibilities, temptations, whether it's OK to be single, attitudes and interests. If it is feasible I would love to start a safe meeting place for single guys - both Christian and non-believers to talk and spend time together.  I don't think too much has been done at all in salt and light concerning singleness, and could see it going on as a course addressing topics i.e. singleness, is it OK; temptations; marriage and long term relationships; attitudes to women; past experiences at relationships; being content with who we are. If it is from God I believe that this idea will not leave me, but rather grow. I'd love it to be a place where guys can talk about things they would never usually do (i.e. feelings) in a safe environment. 


As I say, I don't know what will happen with these this year, but I have had this interest before (during the time I was training in level 1 counselling skills and Samaritans), and never pursued it. I'd love it if you'd comment on your thoughts


God guide
xSx

Update:

Since starting this blog I became a Counsellor. You can read more on blog on subjects like Therapy at:

 www.simonslistening.co.uk 

Prayer and Fasting

I believe that God really does answer prayer, and so I have found myself praying more for certain things (mainly the arrival of our third flatmate and that my close friends like Ger would get into a relationship with Jesus). In the Bible fasting is quite common. The idea behind fasting is that we give something up in order to spend the time with God in prayer. It is usually food, and so we skip a few meals and gain a lot of time in our day where we can spend time with God. The hunger itself reminds us of the reason for our fast. The most famous fast is at lent where we traditionally give something up for 40 days (i.e. chocolate) as Jesus did when he went into the wilderness to pray without food (Mark 1:12-12; Luke 4:1-2). Isaiah 58:3-9 says that in order to really fast we should be doing it with respect for God and people suffering. A practical application might then be to give what you would have spent on food to charity.

On a positive note my new flatmate from Nigeria has got his VISA. Last year he couldn't come because the VISA never came through, but this year he will be here. I remember the pure joy when we were told that he was arriving, joy that God listens to prayers from everyone who did, and that all the work the staff at KTC and he did at getting him here had bared fruit this year. I trust that there is a reason why he came this year, and couldn't the year before, and look forwards to learning from him. I can also imagine the joy that will be in my heart when one of my friends comes to know God, like the Joy of the woman when she found her lost coin (Luke 15:8-10).

               Isaiah 58:3-9
³ ‘Why have we fasted,’ they say,
   ‘and you have not seen it? Why have we humbled ourselves,    and you have not noticed?’   “Yet on the day of your fasting, you do as you please
   and exploit all your workers.
⁴ Your fasting ends in quarrelling and strife,
   and in striking each other with wicked fists.
You cannot fast as you do today
   and expect your voice to be heard on high.
⁵ Is this the kind of fast I have chosen,
   only a day for people to humble themselves?
Is it only for bowing one’s head like a reed
   and for lying in sackcloth and ashes?
Is that what you call a fast,
   a day acceptable to the LORD? 

 ⁶ “Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
   and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
   and break every yoke?
⁷ Is it not to share your food with the hungry
   and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
   and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
⁸ Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
   and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
   and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
⁹ Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
   you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.

Update:

Since starting this blog I became a Counsellor. You can read more on blog on subjects like Therapy at:

 www.simonslistening.co.uk 

 

Forgiveness

So far this blog has spoken a lot about the amazing things I have experienced in my own life through Him. I want to take this opportunity, if you do not know me too well, to say that I am far from perfect or amazing. I make many mistakes, and am often fearful. Last week I found myself being humbled even more in asking people for forgiveness. 


Jesus was perfect, and when he died he acted as a perfect sacrifice. Anyone who follows Jesus can take advantage of this sacrifice for our sins and be forgiven. God forgives anyone who regrets a sin, he forgives them and forgets that we had even done it. Humans on the other hand are not so willing to forget. A criminal can be completely forgiven for murder in God's eyes if he truly repents, but he still has to serve his sentence to pay for his sin on earth.


In the same way I have wronged many people in my life. God has completely forgiven me for all of it, but last week was a week where I needed to apologise to people. I phoned some people up, I apologised directly as I slipped in front of people, wrote a letter, and returned some money to a pub that gave me to much change. Asking forgiveness is an embarrassing thing. Some people have forgotten what you have done, or let it slide, and asking for forgiveness meant reminding them of it, and saying how much I regretted it. As I go through life now I feel God convicting me when I go wrong, and with that conviction I know that I can ask for forgiveness from Him. After he has forgiven me, I have been making it right with people as best as they allow me to. It has been an embarrassing week, yes; but a good one.


God guide
xSx

Update:

Since starting this blog I became a Counsellor. You can read more on blog on subjects like Therapy at:

 www.simonslistening.co.uk 

What Will You Give Up to Come Here?

On the first Saturday at Bible College everyone was invited round on of the girl's houses for a BBQ. We were encouraged to think about what we were willing to give up for Bible College. Many people gave different things i.e. friends or jobs but I decided to give up money. For me going to Bible College means sacrificing all of my possessions. At first this was a difficult decision to make (taking 18 months), but now I am going through it I feel a bit like the men in Matthew 13:44-6.

 ⁴⁴ “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.   ⁴⁵ “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. ⁴⁶ When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.

Now, because of the wedding I could not make the wedding itself and so I decided to give money to my flatmate so he could bring it in my place and represent what I am giving up. I looked into my wallet and there was just £10 in there, so I gave it to him representing giving God every penny I had. I gave it to him suspecting it to be returned at the end, but never mentioned it, and if he hadn't had I would not have asked. Jon went on the weekend and enjoyed himself, and I also enjoyed myself at the wedding.

The next day at KTC we were told that we needed to buy a book for the course by Richard Foster called life with God. I went onto Amazon and found a cheap used copy. When I went to check it out the price had gone up substantially (from about £6 to £10). I figured that this was postage or something and proceeded with paying, thinking it was a bit annoying that it wasn't as cheap as I had hoped.

A few days later I was sat in my room when my flatmate knocked on my door and asked if I had an envelope? Thinking nothing of it I said yes and gave him one. Moments later the door bell rang, it was our neighbour giving the book I had ordered which was delivered to him whilst we were at college. I went upstairs and opened it up, only to find that there were two copies inside (thus explaining why the price was almost doubled). I thought about returning the book, but then decided that Jon would need one so I went into his room and gave him the book.

Surprised, Jon began to rejoice as he gave the envelope back to me. It was addressed to me with the message:

Simon...

I was praying the other day about what you were saying about finance and then giving up the last of your money and I had these words

God shall honour and he shall provide so be blessed.

Inside the envelope was two £10 notes. I had given God the last of my money in my wallet as a symbolic representation of me giving all of my money to God this year. In the same way that Jon doubled my £10, I feel confident now that God will honour what I am sacrificing for this course and provide the other half. It was also amazing that we both gave to each other simultaneously. Jon gave up £10 as a prophetic image, and received a book with an RRP of £10 (£9.89 when I checked Amazon last), and I gave up my last £10 and received £20.

Many of us are giving things up for this year: old habits, unfruitful investments in time, fears, family, friends, the familiarity of normal life, jobs, relationships and churches. This has been a hard first few steps getting used to life in college, but we have a mighty God who is safe to give to, one who will never take advantage of us.


God guide
xSx

Update:

Since starting this blog I became a Counsellor. You can read more on blog on subjects like Therapy at:

 www.simonslistening.co.uk 

God guides and more scripture

Since my mid-teens I have signed every text, letter and E-mail with 'God guide'. Some people write love on the bottom of a message, others put from, but I put God guide. I sign off with it firstly to tithe on my texts, and secondly I think its a lovely thing to say: 'would God guide you, would he be your inspiration'. This is why this blog is named as it is.

Now, we've been reading and deeply meditating upon that that famous psalm, psalm 23. I can pretty much remember that short psalm, but the words had not sink in until earlier this week when I climbed up a tree and spent a while on my own thinking about it. The psalm is all about God, and how he, as the shepherd, guides his sheep - which are meant to be completely dependant on him. Without the shepherd sheep tend to just get attacked or starve. Anyhow, it talks about Him taking us to good green pastures, keeping us still by the waters and directing us with his comforting staff (which a shepherd uses to ward off predators, and guide his sheep - often through disciplining or beating them (http://peculiarplace.com/ps23v4.shtml)) through those difficult times on the righteous path. Yeah, this psalm made me really think of how God is guiding each of us in our own little stories written by Him.

I want to encourage you that he does guide in reality, that he speaks through scripture and people. This whole blog has been for me about how I'm finding God's direction as I live, and how he is nudging me along. One of the ladies at KTC prayed for us all today, and I was struck by how specific and individual her words were for each of us. This was amazing, but not special. There have been numerous times where people seem to know exactly what to pray for each other, stuff they couldn't possibly know, and this isn't them, but rather God guiding their words and speaking through them.

How wonderful it is that we have a God who is control of everything, a God who is guiding us directly and through others. Sometimes it is a gentle walk through green pastures and still waters, other times the staff is really forcing us in one direction. This walk on the path of righteousness is not an easy path, but the shepherd is just as close through that 'valley of the shadow of death' as he is by the green pastures. There are times that the journey has had a dark shadow over it, but we have a guide for us. We have a guide who takes us each through an amazing story, and I am glad to be walking with Him.


God guide
xSx

Update:

Since starting this blog I became a Counsellor. You can read more on blog on subjects like Therapy at:

 www.simonslistening.co.uk 

Lessons Learned From Homelessless

Project Homelessless is finished and I have started Bible College, so what lessons have I learnt from it that I can transfer from it?
Firstly lessons built on the three objectives:
Empathy: Three days way not long enough to fully understand what it might be like for a homeless person. As we observed in the interviews, it is also true that every person's experience of sleeping rough is different. What we have not come away with is an awareness of what it is like for everyone sleeping on the streets, but we know now have an experience to base our understanding on. We did this when there was plenty of food available growing wild, it did not rain when we were sleeping rough, and it was not severely cold like it might be in the winter. We had warm jumpers, a sleeping bag, water and other supplies. We never got addicted to anything, we had a hope of where we were going to afterwards, we were not lonely and kept safe. I listened to someone's story of pain and sickness in their lives. Though there are hurts in my own history, and though I have also been sick, this is something totally individual, and I can hear his story, but never truly know how it is for people to be sleeping rough with a troubled past/ mental state/ physical health. Our experience was biased, and I think people have it far worse than we did, but despite this we still learnt. I learnt just how hard it was to survive; how embarrassing and difficult it was to beg, or how few safe warm places there are to sleep. I can understand what it is like to be hungry without knowing where the next meal is coming from. I know what it feels like to be considered worthless and lazy (like the girl in the coffee shop thought many homeless people are - I'd like to point out that they are not worthless, nor should their lifestyle define them). After spending time with them, I refuse to ignore it and return to a 'normal' life. I might not end up working with them, but I feel something for them that I had not before.

Thankfulness: I went to the pub party shortly after finishing homelessless. I remember going to the bar and thinking of getting a pint. In Oxford a pint is around £2.50, knowing that money could feed me and a friend for a day I could not bring myself to spend so much. Instead I bought myself a cordial water (very cheap, but quite nice). Now I am at KTC money has become very tight, and me and my flatmate Jon have learnt to respect it. Money is powerful, we can waste it or use it; and it can do likewise to us. Giving all of my own money to this year, and valuing it through homelessless has given me a deep respect for it, such that it no longer binds me as it had done. I am not suggesting that everyone should get rid of all of their money in order to be free of it, but learn to appreciate it. Today me and Jon went to supermarket and bought a lot from their reduced section. Jon said that this was a real blessing, and it provoked me to think about just how good it is that we can use money. Money can really help both us, and others. It's not just money though; I am so grateful to be sleeping in a bed, I love knowing where my food is coming from, I am overwhelm by the information the internet gives me, or the freedom to maintain relationships with the phone. Sometimes I can feel deprived, but really I am very fortunate; and when we look at all the good things given to us all around, and appreciate them something amazing happens. Our outlook changes, and instead of wanting more, we become content with what we already have. Be thankful for time, for the here and now, treasure the moments. It was tempting to grumble when we were eating dry biscuits for breakfast, or sleeping on biting insects; it would have been easy to complain about all the walking we did, or for me and Gerald to fall out as we got tiered. It was the default option, but when we exercised thankfulness we began to see the benefit of all of these situations. Instead of complaining about the walk or insects we saw the beautiful land we were walking through; and instead of being bitter about what we ate, we found joy at having something to feed us. 

Isolation: This aim was never fulfilled. I had some time to pray in the morning, and read a bit of a book. We've had our first few lessons at Bible College now, and one of the things they advocate is having times of silence, or devotional times. This can be anything so long as it allows time to engage with God. If you're reading this and engaging with God sounds unfamiliar, then I would still say that isolation can be a good thing. I love reflective journalling, silent reading times, meditation (or prayer, perhaps for you it can be nice to get your thoughts in order) or long walks. It is nice for me to have moments where I have no agenda. As I said, this didn't happen during homelessless, but it did teach me something else:

Friendships: I learnt to really treasure Gerald. If I had done this alone, I would have given up quickly when I built the shelter. I would have settled for less than perfect sleeping spots, I might have been too afraid to beg, I would only have  eaten the apples and blackberries instead of all of the other nutritious things we found. Most importantly, I would have been lonely and bored. Friends can frustrate us at times, but it is so important to have people who are for you. People who will be beside you when you're exhausted and weak, encourage you, motivate you to go on, spend time with and to laugh with. I real feel for those who are sleeping rough on their own, it must be so lonely, and so dangerous for them. Now that I have started Bible College I have less time to spend with my dear friends, but I am so grateful for the time we do get together. I am also excited about the friends I have met at KTC; I have related to Jon on such a deep level, such that after only six days we have shared our history, thoughts and feelings in an honest loving environment. I am also loving each person on the course, how they are all different in ages and interests yet each one has so many interests, skills and stories.

Provision: I was struck how we survived. We only ate because we found things to eat, we only slept because there was a place where we could rest and there was one kind woman who took pity on us and gave us money, though we do not deserve it, nor will we ever repay her. In a similar way I am now living on faith, I still don't know how next year will plan out, but I am trusting God that in the same way he feeds the birds, he will feed me and Jon; and in the same way me and Gerald survived with nothing, we will survive at KTC financially. academically, emotionally, spiritually and in our relationships.

Update:

Since starting this blog I became a Counsellor. You can read more on blog on subjects like Therapy at:

 www.simonslistening.co.uk 

Homelessless Morning 4

We woke up in the cemetery and finished off our chocolate bourbons, talking to more dog walkers as they past through and hearing their opinions on homelessness. We cleared up our rubbish, journalled, brushed our teeth with the water we had left, recycled the card and then returned on the long journey to Gerald's house where are stuff was. When we got to Gerald's house we left our sleeping bags and bags, and collected our wallets and phones. Removing our jumpers reminded us just how bad we smelled, and we were tempted to shower (I had some bites and my unwashed head had become itchy and Gerald had many itchy bites), but we continued back to town instead after a brief sit down and a water refill. It was nice having the luxury of a phone and money again. Within one hour of getting the phone back Gerald got a phone all about an interview (which we are waiting on the results of). I was stunned by the timing, it is as though this happened exactly at the right time, and it left me praising God in my heart.

We used the phone to take the photos that you can see on the previous posts and then decided that we really needed to eat. Yesterday was about acting like we were homeless, today is about being with people who are homeless so we decided we had to eat lunch with someone who was sleeping rough.The police move homeless people on from Oxford city centre now, so they are hard to find - except 'big issue' sellers (which I think is an amazing magazine for helping the homeless). Eventually we found a young guy; he sat on the street wearing a red hoodie, tracksuit bottoms and looking very thin and pale with a beard and few teeth. This guy had gone onto the street due to problems with his family (which I don't want to post, but shocked me). He had a skin disease across his body with itchy red boils and skin that peels off. His condition is aggravated by the stresses of living on the street and allergic reactions to things such as dogs. This allergy prevents him from sleeping in the hostels with other homeless guys or sleeping round people's homes in case his skin peels off on their floors. He wanted to save £20 to sleep in a B&B, as he hadn't slept in two nights. He seemed to have no material possessions including a sleeping bag or the ointment that could treat his skin (£8). People just look at him instead of giving him anything, when we ate with him at 1.30 he had raised nothing. He was tiered, but new that he had to get up and ask directly to receive. We were so moved by his story that we decided to give what we had received in begging to him instead of shelter after we'd eaten together. He might be a drug addicted, and will probably use the money in a way I would advise him against (i.e. a B&B instead of a sleeping bag/ ointment), but it was just so sad to spend time with him and hear his story. I felt tears welling up in me at one point, it just wasn't fair.

Feeling for this man, we left him to beg and headed to the place where we had built our shelter to take a photo of it and what we had eaten. Having enough photos we returned to town with the intention of understanding how the general public feel about homeless people. We found the same guy there, and he asked us for another hot chocolate/ pudding. We were reluctant to buy this, but were reminded about his situation and so bought him some more food. I wonder how many times we have all hardened our hearts when someone asks us for help, and justified our reasons not to? After talking more about his family it made me wonder what kind of support his man needs? Buying him food is good and it fills him, but what steps need to happen to allow him to feed himself, to give him sleep, employment and to mend his troubled past? He needs a job, food, identity and shelter - physical needs, but I am also aware of his mind, spirit and social needs. Helping someone on the streets seems like a difficult matter indeed. You'll be pleased to know that he found a friend, and he spent the night over their's which fulfils his immediate need of sleep.

After helping him for the final time, we went into a coffee shop to question people's views. It was lovely tasting my first coffee again. Here we approached a teacher in her late twenties, whose partner joined half way through the half-hour conversation. They were both quite educated and open minded, with a similar kind of attitude towards the homeless. In questioning them I kept it quite non-directive allowing them to speak as much as possible and keeping notes. In introduction I said something like 'Hello. I've been living on the streets for the last three days in order to get an understanding of what life is like for people sleeping rough - don't worry, I don't want any change. I was wondering if you were free at all to talk about your perspective on the homeless? ...... Can I sit with you?' The following is taken from the notes I wrote, I am sorry that it doesn't read well, but I wanted to leave it in note form, as close to the real conversation as possible:

They both firstly said that the question was difficult because everyone on the streets has a different story. Some like roaming and being free, whereas others give it a bad name; some beg, others don't. Some are quite happy being there, others hate it. Last year the woman went to India and saw extreme poverty next to slums with no dividing line in the culture, and we have a similar injustice here (only not as bad). The guy asked if we had heard of fruganism? Supermarkets and other stores, as well as the general public waste a lot of perfectly good food, that could be used. They said that alcohol is a negative cycle. He said that society is a bubble, and the homeless step outside of it; once out of this bubble it is hard to get back into it. A friend of theirs used to live rough and was into drugs. A woman took pity on him, and let him live with her. From there he got an IT job, and ended up marrying that girl, but even now doesn't speak about his experience on the streets. There are some schemes to escape like the 'Big Issue' IT course. There is a lot of stigma attached to the homeless, but in this country it is survivable. A homeless guy they met said that some kids once set him on fire when he was sleeping.

After speaking with the couple for half an hour we approached three teenage girls upstairs who all had quite different oppinions:
One girl felt sorry for the homeless, she buys 'Big Issues' and believes some are genuine. Lots of them however are on drugs, so she has more respect for people who sell the magazines. Considering that there are bad backgrounds that make people want to be like they are. A different girl said that it was their own faults, and that they could get off the streets if they tried harder. They are just there to be free of responsibility. Some do have family problems, and aren't able to fend for themselves, so if they can't get help they go to the street. There isn't much help for them besides the big issue and some places for them to stay. Dogs work, and when they have them you feel sorry for them donating to the dog. They get the dog supplied, and get given food and money for it.
It was interesting to hear different opinions from different people. They said that their opinions were based on what they have heard in school, though I don't remember ever touching such a topic as homelessness in school?

Begging was really tough, and I felt humiliated in asking people. Speaking with others however, starting conversations with strangers, that felt fine and honest. We wanted to speak to people and not try and bribe them out of their money. We watched a big issue seller for a while then decided to end homelessless at 5.30pm. It took us an hour to get back to Gerald's house where his flatmate cooked us our first proper meal. Before we could eat she asked us if we could buy some cream. In the supermarket we became increasingly concious of the way we smelled, and how much we spent on a gift for the meal (considering that £2.46 had lasted us a day between us). It was lovely being back in a home; showering, eating a good meal with friends, having fresh clothes and a warm roof. I slept on Gerald's floor; it was warm, but I strangely didn't sleep as well as I had the other two nights.

Our time on the streets had ended and we were no longer homeless, but my memories of that time will shape the way I think for the rest of this year.

Update:

Since starting this blog I became a Counsellor. You can read more on blog on subjects like Therapy at:

 www.simonslistening.co.uk 

Homelessless Morning 3

We got up from our shelter, cleared up all our rubbish/ fire, journalled, ate our apples and left for town at 9am. On the way to town down the Botley Road we stopped off at Army Surplus and Pet Smart. It was nice going back into a shop again where people are going about there normal lives, a true contrast to the wilderness. We didn't have any money and so could not buy anything, but it was still nice to look.

On the road to town me and Ger were talking about how we felt about begging or busking. It turns out that we were both apprehensive about it. Begging is humiliating, we are trying to persuade strangers to give us money when we give them nothing in return. One major factor we discussed was appearance: we have dirt and grass all over us, we smelt of sweat and bonfire, exhaustion was making us walk slowly (with a slight limp), but despite all of this we don't look homeless. Instead we just look like grubby stubbly students. Gerald pointed out that long hair, beards, old torn clothes, tattoos and piercings are a good way of identifying a person as homeless. If we were living on the streets on a longer basis, or wanted to better fit into the community, it would probably be best to change our appearance. It may be that many people who look like they do, do not want to appear that way, but do so almost like a uniform to identify there homelessness? Because we didn't look homeless, people were probably more willing to speak to us, but also far more surprised when we asked for money.

When we went to town we asked our first five people for support. They all stopped, but when we asked for change they made an excuse, apologised or just walked on. We finally reached town with Ger having done most of the begging (as I was nervous), and decided to beg sat down outside of a supermarket. When we asked people for change whilst sitting down it was far less effective with people not stopping or even breaking stride. People actively avoided us, and again kept saying no or apologising. After ten more failures we went to the town hall, and a lovely pleasant lady was filling to fill up our water bottles (which I am so thankful for, and may visit again to let them know how they have helped).

We tried to get a busking licence in Ramsey House, but they wanted two passport sized photos and a form of ID. We may busk at a later date, but were unable to do so during these three days. It leaves me questioning how a homeless person could busk without ID where passport photos are expensive and carrying an instrument is a burden. After failing at busking we decided to beg independently for thirty minutes. Gerald, being more confident than myself, asked four people very quickly (all no), then the fifth person questioned him for a long time making him feel like a fake; this guilt really got to him so he stopped and made his way to the meeting point. I was still very shy, before homelessless I figured that if you ask one person a minute you could make a lot more than minimum wage and begging would be easy to eat. Instead I walked slowly and asked at a rate of one person every five minutes. Most refused, but we left without being on bad terms, but one was quite moody with me saying that he was busy and then ignoring me. In the end I found a lady at the bus stop and told her: 'Excuse me,... I've been sleeping rough for the last two nights and would really like some money for food, can you help at all?' She very generously gave me £2.46 but didn't want a link to my blog because it had god in the title and she was Jewish. I wish she had taken one, I want her to know what that money meant to us, and what we did with it.

People asked: 21
People who gave: 1
Money Raised: £2.46
Total begging time: approx 2 hours

With the money we bought a pack of bourbons biscuits (40p), a french loaf (70p), jam (40p) and 4 pork pies (98p). We ate half of our lunch on the martyrs memorial (using Ger's penknife to spread the jam) and listened to a walking tour guide talk about those brave men who gave their lives for their faith. By now it was 2pm and we were board. Living on the streets must firstly get very lonely without someone else, and secondly we needed more to keep us busy on that day. From 2-5 we visited museums (like the Ashmolean and Oxford Modern Art) and read in Waterstones book shop. Me and Gerald both found books to keep us interested (on counselling and philosophy respectively) then learnt some new card games from a different book for the evening.


By 5 we were aware how soon it was until dark and decided to find a place to rest (which proved more difficult than expected because we did not want to sleep in the same place - though this became tempting as we got desperate). We walked along Jericho, back to town, around churches, under bridges, near bins, by a school and near the university. When we were looking we found half an eaten tub of popcorn on the floor (which was quite nice). We don't know what had happened to it, but it left us wondering why both businesses and individuals waste so much good food? One spot we almost slept in was by some bins. Two youths cycled by us and shouted our direction threatening to 'glass' us. There is a real risk in sleeping somewhere. Risk of attack, theft and disturbances and so we moved on. In the end we found the entrance to a cemetery that acted like a shelter. We laid down some card that we'd found in a school recycling bin  and set up our sleeping bags.

On this site we played some new card games we had learnt and ate the other half of our lunch we had been carrying round. This was probably the nicest place we have slept because it had three walls and a roof (although we might have just been less fussy due to tiredness?). Throughout the night and morning we were disturbed by several dog walkers passing through. Because of these disturbances I slept with my bag strap around my neck. Its strange, we had nothing but were convinced that we were going to get robbed. I remember guarding my cardboard even whilst looking for a spot in the first place (which no one is going to take off of me). All of the do walkers spoke to us and were very friendly with a positive attitude towards the homeless. Apparently several people had slept rough in this cemetery before, and so they were not shocked at us. We were told one story about  girl who had overdosed here in the past.

Update:

Since starting this blog I became a Counsellor. You can read more on blog on subjects like Therapy at:

 www.simonslistening.co.uk 

Homelessless Morning 2

Before going into the wilderness we went to a public toilet one last time to relieve ourselves and wash. It was nice to have clean hands, it would be the last time they would be washed in the next twenty four hours. Having left our fire escape we set off foraging and searching for shelter. The objective of this day was to live off of the wilderness in order to see whether it was possible to live in Oxford without people or business' help.

Gerald brought two survival books with him. One was a small book on the wild flora and mushrooms we could eat, the other was a survival guide. We spent most of our morning familiarising ourselves with every berry, fruit and leave we came across. I remember spending five or ten minutes trying to identify a small black round berry. We decided we couldn't eat it and should move on, then noticed there was a crab apple tree immediately above us. We ate the crab apple and it was bitter, but offered some nutrition. We spent the entire day foraging and searching for shelter, taking a total of seven hours before we eventually found a place to sleep.

We started off in a wood near the Botley Health Centre . Here we found blackberries, hawthorne, elderberries and a crayfish which we didn't manage to catch. We put everything we did manage to catch into a plastic bag and carried them with us for the rest of the day. Near the river there was a large tree. To climb it we took a leap of faith by jumping into the river and catching the branch before we fell in, then climbing along the branch and back down. The tree was a fun thing to climb that I had done before and enjoyed doing again (although it was a long way down once we were up). Gerald particularly impressed me when he jumped and climbed it because it turned out that he was scared of heights, and struggled with it. Climbing the tree in retrospect was probably a bad idea because we cut ourselves on the bark, particularly along Ger' arm.

We passed through a park along the Osney mead business park. here we had our first quiet time (where I was able to read and pray a bit). because we were both exhausted from our late disturbed night we had a sit down and chat, but fell asleep in this park for an hour. After a rest we carried on searching for a place to sleep and bumped into some friends from my church back in Stanford. They told us there was an apple tree near Botley. We followed there advice, but found nothing there. On the way, however, we found runner beans growing out from a garden onto a public footpath and a different apple tree in a public place. We took four small apples and some runner beans, and put them into our bag.

the things we ate: runner beans, cooking apples, crab apples, eating apples, blackberries, Hawthorne berries/ leaf, dead nettles, stinging nettles, the outside of Yew berries (do not eat) and elderberries

We carried on walking up along a footpath towards harcourt Hill (where we took three cooking apples growing out of a garden onto a footpath). On the way up the Harcourt Hill we found the Raleigh Nature Reserve. In that reserve there were lots of blackberries. It was 4pm by this time, and we needed a sleeping spot before dark (8pm). We saw a large Hawthorne tree and decided to sleep underneath it. We cleared a patch of ground about 7" across from debris and built our shelter on top of it against the tree. It took about three hours to make the shelter, including breaks. We leaned large sticks up against a tree with smaller sticks woven or laid on top of them. When we had created a firm foundation we laid grass on top from the ground opposite,  as well as on the floor we slept on. the grass would keep us comfortable at night, warm, and stop as much rain getting through.

At about seven we made a fire and cooked what we had foraged inside some tin foil with a little bit of water. The apples, blackberries, runner beans and elderberries were lovely; whereas the nettles and hawthorn were tasteless or nasty. We ate inside our shelter using chopsticks which Gerald fashioned from twigs. After the first course we relit them embers on the fire and cooked a second course of apples, blackberries, elderberries and water (which was much nicer). We laid in our shelter laughing at how peculiar it was that we were eating these things in the middle of nowhere. At this point I became increasingly aware of the provision we have in nature, and still more appreciative of my usually evening meals.

After the meal we played with an old deck of cards I had brought for an hour until it got dark, and we were unable to play. It was strange settling down to sleep at 8pm when we were used to staying up late with the unnatural lights in our home. Being homeless there was far less to do at night, and so we settled down. The night was a lot colder than the day before and Gerald became very itchy. When we were picking grass for our shelter something was biting us, and Gerald  got bitten the worse. On the last day we counted thirty five bites on him, and three or so on me. Despite the cold I managed to sleep from 8pm-8am with only a few disturbances in the night; we were thankful that there was no rain. In the evening we could hear both animals and cars going by. When we woke up at eight we heard birds singing and saw a rabbit hopping through the grass in front of us. We have a beautiful world, and it was nice to be a part of it here. In the morning we had an eating apple for breakfast and then headed out into town to start. Town will take thirty minutes to reach from our shelter, and I remember spending the whole walk feeling strangely scared about begging.

Update:

Since starting this blog I became a Counsellor. You can read more on blog on subjects like Therapy at:

 www.simonslistening.co.uk 

Homelessless Morning 1

Last night me and Gerald packed all of our things and got ready for the first night of homelessless. I wore a pair of corduroy brown trousers, 2 pairs of socks warn together, an old pair of trainers, 2 jumpers, a t-shirt and a thin partially waterproof jacket. In my backpack I had 1ltr of water, my sleeping bag, a book to read, my journal, cards, toilet paper, 4 slices of beer bread donated by Gerald's house mate and an emergency note in case there was any trouble (though this never got spent). Gerald worse 2 pairs of socks, old trainers, a pair of thin trousers, a t-shirt, a thick jumper and brought a waterproof. In his backpack he had 1ltr of water, a penknife, a lighter, aluminium foil, a journal, a book on survival, a book on foraging in Britain, his sleeping bag and a spare book to read. We took no change of clothes and nothing to wash with besides toothbrushes and paste, we also had no mobile phones, wallet, identification or money we were allowed to spend. We were now packed up lightly and ready for our first night on the street.

Before starting homelessless we went round to a friend's house to have a final meal of a pizza and two beers. It was good to enjoy that final meal, knowing that from here-on we would have to find or beg for anything we ate. Whilst eating we watched a film called 'into the wild' by Sean Penn. It is about a guy, about our age, who leaves society and all of his responsibilities to live alone in the wild of Alaska. The film often shows the affects of this on the family of this guy, and I remember hoping that my own parents don't worry whilst we fend for ourselves on the street. Other that that, it was a good introduction to sleeping rough.

We left our friend's house about 12am and spent the next hour or so searching for a place to sleep. We wanted somewhere with as many walls as possible, a roof and somewhere we wouldn't be disturbed or threatened in the night. It took about an hour to find a place, but eventually we found a fire exit at the back of the Westgate Shopping Centre. I remember being worried how people might think as we climbed up the stairs. The site was in front of a local gay bar, which played loud music til 3am, and some of the people smoking outside must have noticed us going up there. The escape was wide with a concrete floor; it had a roof and two walls on either side of us. Me and Gerald found some cardboard outside a cafe and laid them across the cold concrete. We then set up our sleeping bags on top and decided to go to sleep. Between traffic and the loud music it was difficult to first get to sleep, but eventually we nodded off listening to singers like Shakira, Michael Jackson and Madonna. The floor itself was far more comfortable than I imagined, and the night was warm (though I felt the chill on my feet and face). I think I managed to get six hours of disturbed sleep, Gerald less so.

In the morning I walked five minutes away to go to the toilet at the bus station. I then returned and we ate our bread from Gerald's flat mate. I remember feeling so grateful that we had a breakfast prepared for us. It was plain, but I treasured the beer bread more than I would have a full English a week earlier. I do however remember really wanting a coffee - I think this habit will be hard to break.After we had finished journalling and packed up our sleeping bags the cleaner from the Westgate came up. he was friendly, but wanted us to move on and take our cardboard (which we had planned to do). He was quite happy for us to sleep there again one day, but told us to look out for needles where others had slept. We recycled our cardboard and set out for our first day feeling it strange yet exciting that project homelessless was actually happening.

Update:

Since starting this blog I became a Counsellor. You can read more on blog on subjects like Therapy at:

 www.simonslistening.co.uk