We used the phone to take the photos that you can see on the previous posts and then decided that we really needed to eat. Yesterday was about acting like we were homeless, today is about being with people who are homeless so we decided we had to eat lunch with someone who was sleeping rough.The police move homeless people on from Oxford city centre now, so they are hard to find - except 'big issue' sellers (which I think is an amazing magazine for helping the homeless). Eventually we found a young guy; he sat on the street wearing a red hoodie, tracksuit bottoms and looking very thin and pale with a beard and few teeth. This guy had gone onto the street due to problems with his family (which I don't want to post, but shocked me). He had a skin disease across his body with itchy red boils and skin that peels off. His condition is aggravated by the stresses of living on the street and allergic reactions to things such as dogs. This allergy prevents him from sleeping in the hostels with other homeless guys or sleeping round people's homes in case his skin peels off on their floors. He wanted to save £20 to sleep in a B&B, as he hadn't slept in two nights. He seemed to have no material possessions including a sleeping bag or the ointment that could treat his skin (£8). People just look at him instead of giving him anything, when we ate with him at 1.30 he had raised nothing. He was tiered, but new that he had to get up and ask directly to receive. We were so moved by his story that we decided to give what we had received in begging to him instead of shelter after we'd eaten together. He might be a drug addicted, and will probably use the money in a way I would advise him against (i.e. a B&B instead of a sleeping bag/ ointment), but it was just so sad to spend time with him and hear his story. I felt tears welling up in me at one point, it just wasn't fair.
Feeling for this man, we left him to beg and headed to the place where we had built our shelter to take a photo of it and what we had eaten. Having enough photos we returned to town with the intention of understanding how the general public feel about homeless people. We found the same guy there, and he asked us for another hot chocolate/ pudding. We were reluctant to buy this, but were reminded about his situation and so bought him some more food. I wonder how many times we have all hardened our hearts when someone asks us for help, and justified our reasons not to? After talking more about his family it made me wonder what kind of support his man needs? Buying him food is good and it fills him, but what steps need to happen to allow him to feed himself, to give him sleep, employment and to mend his troubled past? He needs a job, food, identity and shelter - physical needs, but I am also aware of his mind, spirit and social needs. Helping someone on the streets seems like a difficult matter indeed. You'll be pleased to know that he found a friend, and he spent the night over their's which fulfils his immediate need of sleep.
After helping him for the final time, we went into a coffee shop to question people's views. It was lovely tasting my first coffee again. Here we approached a teacher in her late twenties, whose partner joined half way through the half-hour conversation. They were both quite educated and open minded, with a similar kind of attitude towards the homeless. In questioning them I kept it quite non-directive allowing them to speak as much as possible and keeping notes. In introduction I said something like 'Hello. I've been living on the streets for the last three days in order to get an understanding of what life is like for people sleeping rough - don't worry, I don't want any change. I was wondering if you were free at all to talk about your perspective on the homeless? ...... Can I sit with you?' The following is taken from the notes I wrote, I am sorry that it doesn't read well, but I wanted to leave it in note form, as close to the real conversation as possible:
They both firstly said that the question was difficult because everyone on the streets has a different story. Some like roaming and being free, whereas others give it a bad name; some beg, others don't. Some are quite happy being there, others hate it. Last year the woman went to India and saw extreme poverty next to slums with no dividing line in the culture, and we have a similar injustice here (only not as bad). The guy asked if we had heard of fruganism? Supermarkets and other stores, as well as the general public waste a lot of perfectly good food, that could be used. They said that alcohol is a negative cycle. He said that society is a bubble, and the homeless step outside of it; once out of this bubble it is hard to get back into it. A friend of theirs used to live rough and was into drugs. A woman took pity on him, and let him live with her. From there he got an IT job, and ended up marrying that girl, but even now doesn't speak about his experience on the streets. There are some schemes to escape like the 'Big Issue' IT course. There is a lot of stigma attached to the homeless, but in this country it is survivable. A homeless guy they met said that some kids once set him on fire when he was sleeping.
After speaking with the couple for half an hour we approached three teenage girls upstairs who all had quite different oppinions:
One girl felt sorry for the homeless, she buys 'Big Issues' and believes some are genuine. Lots of them however are on drugs, so she has more respect for people who sell the magazines. Considering that there are bad backgrounds that make people want to be like they are. A different girl said that it was their own faults, and that they could get off the streets if they tried harder. They are just there to be free of responsibility. Some do have family problems, and aren't able to fend for themselves, so if they can't get help they go to the street. There isn't much help for them besides the big issue and some places for them to stay. Dogs work, and when they have them you feel sorry for them donating to the dog. They get the dog supplied, and get given food and money for it.
It was interesting to hear different opinions from different people. They said that their opinions were based on what they have heard in school, though I don't remember ever touching such a topic as homelessness in school?
Begging was really tough, and I felt humiliated in asking people. Speaking with others however, starting conversations with strangers, that felt fine and honest. We wanted to speak to people and not try and bribe them out of their money. We watched a big issue seller for a while then decided to end homelessless at 5.30pm. It took us an hour to get back to Gerald's house where his flatmate cooked us our first proper meal. Before we could eat she asked us if we could buy some cream. In the supermarket we became increasingly concious of the way we smelled, and how much we spent on a gift for the meal (considering that £2.46 had lasted us a day between us). It was lovely being back in a home; showering, eating a good meal with friends, having fresh clothes and a warm roof. I slept on Gerald's floor; it was warm, but I strangely didn't sleep as well as I had the other two nights.
Our time on the streets had ended and we were no longer homeless, but my memories of that time will shape the way I think for the rest of this year.
Update:
Since starting this blog I became a Counsellor. You can read more on blog on subjects like Therapy at:
www.simonslistening.co.uk
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