I gave my testimony last on the 19th May to our alpha group, and just found it on my phone.
"Like many others I was fortunate enough to grow up in a Christian household. In this family, my father spoke passionately about his faith, and encouraged me to go to the churches in our village. I used to go to Sunday school at these churches, and fondly remember the youth event they put on during the summer called J-team. We would sing, cook, paint and cover Bible stories with other young children my age. Before dinner and every night at bed time, my family would say some quick prayers together; and I had a lot of spiritual support from other relatives. From my family, I would consider myself familiar with Christianity and biblical teachings. I guess I would have said I was Christian if anyone asked what my religion was, and I believed the Bible to be right; but I just hadn’t committed to this faith. It was dry, just something I did on Sundays and hardly relational with that higher power. It stayed like that for quite a while, and that’s how I assumed it should be – that was until 1999.
At this time I was in a bad place. Someone close to me was very suicidal, and I was doing badly in school. Life was adequate, but it just didn’t feel full:
I sat in a dark corner, hiding from the light; I could not come out then, despite all I might.
It was in that dark corner that I was met by the real Jesus. I went to the Oxford Bible Church. The drive up there was great because it was with this really enthusiastic guy who was just full of God. He was so full, that it was overflowing. I wanted what he had, and couldn’t stop asking him questions about Christianity. It was strange, the more I asked him the better it felt. I felt a clarity I hadn’t had before, a comfort from how tense I had been. When we got there the congregation wasn’t singing hymns like I was used to, but modern songs with modern instruments. People were speaking OUT LOUD in strange languages and raising their hands. I didn’t know what was going on, but there was a vibe about that place – a welcoming presence in their worship. It was here that I first experienced the Holy Spirit. In those moments basking in God’s presence, there was nowhere else I wanted to be, I just wanted to sit there singing forever – and that’s when I knew I wanted to be a born again Christian.
My Godmother at this point felt God was telling her to pay for me to go on a week-long Christian camp called ‘Soul Survivor’. I found out this week that she felt God speaking to her when I raised my hands, like the others in worship, and I did that because I felt like God wanted me to put them up for him. Here at Soul Survivor I learned more about my faith, experienced plenty more of the Holy Spirit and bought my first Bible. I returned to this camp ever year through secondary school and became enthusiastic about getting involved with my Church. On Sundays I was enjoying the local church community, and on Tuesday evenings I joined a group of Christians – it was with these people that I did my first alpha course, like you are doing now.
Christianity had become more than just ‘religion’, it was my identity.
So who real needs a corner, when you’ve got the holy ghost; And the God of our salvation, who draws us forever close.
I’d be lying if I said at this point that making a commitment to Jesus made my life perfect. Life isn’t a constant high but I have Jesus throughout it. Indeed that close-person was still suicidal. The difference is that I was now praying for them (and now twelve years on they are freed from it, they haven’t attempted to end their lives in over five years, and are much happier in themselves), and I no longer felt rejected by their self-destructive behaviour. I found my grades going up in school, and myself much happier. This is the same now. I often have worries, or may be feeling terrible, but in these circumstances I know that there is someone who is listening to my every plea. I know that God understands my sufferings as he sent his own son to suffer more than I ever could. Instead of going through things alone, I go through them with a God who understands me totally, and loves me through it. My faith has given me a purpose in life. I remember writing how important it was to me on my university application to Oxford Brookes back in 2006. I remember how important it was for me to feel in touch when I came to Oxford. To find a church where I could feel at home and involved. It gave me groups to get involved with, and people to know.
Since university I have been in an uncertain place with my career, staying and working in town; but I know God has a plan for my life. Luke 12 tells me that I don’t have to worry because I have worth in God’s eyes, and if he feeds and cares for the wild birds, then he can feed and care for me. I have been tested a lot this year, I feel God is calling me to go to our Bible college in this building. I cannot afford it, but I trust God for his provision. Because God has a plan for my life, I can be certain in faith that he will support me. I can know that I am not just another person, but a member of God’s family who he wants to see developed and used. Yeah, God’s been good to me; and I really hope you guys get to know him, and experience all of the good things he has for you as well.
God guide"
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